She Will Be Loved
by TowMondler
Summary: A event in the past causes Chandler to seek Monica out again and see if there's still a chance for them....just try it?
1. Drive for miles and miles

Hey kids! The song in this is by Maroon 5, and half of it is in this chapter and the other half will be in the next chapter....and don't worry if you are slightly confused. I will clear everything up. Just for the record though, Monica's parents were divorced and she lived with her mother and stepfather. Her father will come up later. But please review and tell me what you think. Thanks!

  


Disclaimer: Neither the song nor the characters belong to me....damn.

  
  


She showed up at his door soaking wet. He opened the door and there she stood. Water dripping from her hair and her clothes stuck to her body. 

"I don't know.....I don't know why I'm here," she said softly. He hadn't asked. He wouldn't ask. All that mattered was that there she stood in front of him. 

"Would you like to come in?" He asked. 

"I should go," she turned around and hurried down the stairs pulling her coat closer to her body. 

"Please don't go," he called after her. There she was, the most beautiful girl that he had ever seen. Of course, he couldn't do this. He would have to tell her to go. She was his roommate's sister. And you didn't date your friend's sister. Not even his incredibly beautiful sister. Her dark hair fell around her shoulders, strands falling down into her face. Making no move to push it back, it just hung there in front of her face, covering one of her intense blue eyes. 

At eighteen, she looked as if she carried the weight of the world. And only he knew the truth behind that. 

"I can't stay here," she repeated again.

"You have to stay here," he told her ignoring the fact that she was moving towards the door. 

"Ross...." Her brother. But he wasn't home. He wouldn't be home all weekend. 

"Isn't here." She knew where he was. He was exactly where she should have been, except that she had ran out of her mother's house and walked in the pouring rain until she had found a bus and took it downtown to NYU's campus. 

"But...." Striding over to her, he placed a finger in front of her mouth.

"No." That was it, she caved. She gave in completely. He wrapped his arms around her shivering body and pulled her close to him. 

He knew that she was shivering from the rain, but he also knew that she was shivering because she was terrified. Of where she would go, of going back, of things that he couldn't fix.

And for the first time in his twenty years on the planet, he truly and honestly felt helpless. 

  
  
  


_Beauty queen of only eighteen_

_She had some trouble with herself_

_He was always there to help her_

_She always belonged to someone else_

  
  
  


Just as that night she had showed up to his door, he had no idea what he was doing now. Ten years. Ten years since that night that they had slipped into his dorm room and she had forgotten about her problems and life for a while. Not that it had lasted, he heard her wake up in the middle of the night sobbing into her pillow. 

"Hey," he had run his hand over her back. "You okay?" Vainly, she tried to hide the traces of tears. 

"Fine," she had said. He hadn't pushed. He wondered now if he should have. He wondered now if he should have demanded that she tell him what was going on. What was going through her mind. But he didn't.

Fine.

That's what she had tried to convince him that she was. What she tried to convince everyone that she was.

Of course, she wasn't. She knew that. He knew that. But they had both been under the impression that if they just pretended, if they didn't talk about the things that they shouldn't talk about, that things would be fine. 

And that theory got torn to shreds when her stepfather had burst into the room as she lay with Chandler, and pulled her up by her arm. That theory got shattered when he had slapped her across her face and called her a slut. When Chandler had stood between Monica and her stepfather trying at all costs to protect her. 

"Don't come home. You aren't welcome," her stepfather had shouted at her. It had been Chandler who had caught her when her legs refused to hold her any longer and she collapsed. It was Chandler who had talked Ross into going back to their parent's house and getting all of her stuff. It was Chandler who helped her fill out all the scholarship and college forms to get her out of that house as soon as possible. To get her as far away as possible. 

Northwestern University. Full ride. She had ran as fast as she could away from New York. Away from her mother and stepfather. 

But consequently, away from Chandler. 

And now he was going to find her. Ten years later. He had heard that she ended up in Chicago. That she had just stayed in Chicago. Chandler had driven all night to find her. 

And here he was. Standing in front of her door. Trying to summon up the courage to knock. 

  
  


_I drove for miles and miles_

_and wound up at your door_

_I've had you so many times, but somehow_

_I want more_

  
  


Was she married? Did she have children? He had no idea, he hadn't talked to her in about eight years. Eight years. God, that was a long time. They had tried to stay together when she had left for Chicago. They had tried to make something work. But of course, it couldn't work. She wanted nothing to do with New York, and he couldn't keep flying to Chicago. 

So they broke up. Had a long and emotional conversation before they both had hung up.

"Bye, Mon," he had said softly into the phone. 

"No."

"What?"

"No goodbyes. I hate goodbyes."

"Then what should I say?"

"Just say goodnight. And leave it at that." And so he had left it at goodnight. 

Until now. Now he wanted to see her again. As he reached his hand up to knock, the door to flew open and she came bustling out nearly running straight into him.

"Oh I'm sorry," she apologized hastily. She looked beautiful. As beautiful as she had at eighteen. Her once long hair was now shoulder length, and she wore sunglasses over her eyes, but he was sure that they were still that brilliant shade of blue. 

"Monica?" Looking up, she finally slid the glasses off. 

"Chandler?" It was as if she was staring up at a ghost.

"Hi." That's all he could get out.

"What...I...haven't.....eight years.....what are you doing here?" It came out in a jumble and he picked through to figure out what exactly she was saying.

"I came to see you."

"Why?" 

"Because." Why had he come? He didn't know really. He had this overwhelming urge to see her. Wanted to see her and hold her and talk to her. 

The look on her face said that maybe she didn't want to do the same. 

"Do you uh, want to come in?" She finally spoke up.

"You're leaving," Chandler pointed out.

"It's not.....it's okay," she reopened the door and let him step inside. It was impeccably decorated. He glanced around noting the photographs on the wall. None of her family, not surprising....but none of him either. 

"Do you want some coffee?" She offered.

"Are you married?" He hadn't wanted to blurt it out like that. But there it was. Hanging in the air between them. 

"I....yes...." She was married, he felt like he couldn't breathe. She gave him a small, sad, broken smile. "Did you expect me to wait for you for eight years?" 

He didn't know how to answer that question, so he turned and ran from her townhouse, ran just as she had run so very long ago. 

  
  
  


_I don't mind spending everyday_

_Out on your corner in the pouring rain_

_Look for the girl with the broken smile_

_Ask if she wants to stay awhile_

_And she will be loved_

_She will be loved_

  
  
  


~Are you confused yet? Yay! Okay, no, don't worry I will clear everything up. Just review and I'll write the next chapter as fast as I can....thanks!__

  
  
  
  



	2. It's not always rainbows and butterflies

_~_Hey! Thanks so much for reviewing! This chapter is definitely a PG-13....but the entire story isn't just this chapter, so um....you've been warned.~__

  
  


Monica didn't even know where to begin to find Chandler after he had run from her house like that. He had to be staying in a hotel somewhere, the problem was where? Could she just start calling hotels up one by one and ask if they had a Chandler Bing staying there. But what if he had gone home? What if he had run back to wherever it was that he had come from? She had never really thanked him. Not really and truly thanked him for what he had done that ten years previous. At the very least she wanted to find him and say that she was so grateful towards him. For doing what he did. 

For saving her. __

_Ten Years before:_

As quietly as she possibly could, Monica snuck into the house. 

"Please be asleep," she begged silently. "Please, please be asleep." She had been out with Chandler again. She knew that Ross didn't approve of her dating his college roommate, but she also knew that she didn't really care. But if her mother or stepfather, Ron, found out, things would be bad. Her mother, who thought that everything she did was wrong, everything that her brother did was right, would kill her if she knew.

Well, it seemed that she was safe, at least for the night. There was no movement from the house. Tiptoeing up the stairs, a voice cut through the air.

"Getting home late?" It was Ron. Inwardly, she groaned to herself and prayed that he wasn't angry with her.

"Hi Ron, sorry, I lost track of time. I was studying with Rachel." She hoped that he would buy that. She knew that it was probable that he wouldn't. 

"Uh-huh." Oh shit, she was in for it now. Reaching out, he grabbed her arm. "Where were you? Who were you with?" It occurred to her that she should run, but where would she run to? 

"I was with Rachel...." she tried it again.

"Liar."

"No! I....was..." He grabbed her by both shoulders and shook her. 

"Liar." Hot tears sprung in her eyes. 

"Please let go of me, Ron, you're hurting me," she begged. He stopped shaking and pulled her up off of the stairs. 

"You know Monica, you are a gorgeous girl," he breathed into her hair. The stench of whiskey was overwhelming. "Maybe we can forget about this if we make a little deal." His hand ran up over her sweater and she cringed. 

"Please, Ron. No." It didn't matter, and she knew that. He pulled her roughly by the arm and tried to yell, but his calloused hand clamped over her mouth. What would it matter if she yelled anyway? If her mother wasn't passed out from the copious amounts of alcohol she had imbibed, she would either ignore it, or she would call Monica a liar, and Ron would still sneak into her bedroom later that night. And Ross who was home for the weekend? Ross would think it was Ron and her mother being sick and twisted, he would turn on his headphones and drown them out. Ron found a scarf of Monica's lying on the floor and tied it around her mouth. 

"Don't yell, now," he said, with a smile on his face that she would remember for the rest of her life. He laid her on the bed, and she squeezed her eyes shut and prayed that he would be quick. 

When he was gone, and she laid with rivets of tears flowing down her face, she made up her mind. She needing to run. The only problem was figuring out where to go. 

Her father? He lived in California, and she could go there. But how would she get there? And she needed to leave now. Right away. 

The only place she could think of popped into her mind. 

Chandler's. 

Ross wasn't there, and it was close. She grabbed a bag from the closet and began to throw her sweaters and jeans into it. Once that was done, she grabbed her favorite book from off the shelf. A worn and well-loved copy of _To Kill a Mockingbird, _and threw that into the bag as well. Glancing around her room, she realized that this may be the last time that she ever stepped foot in there. She reached over onto her shelves and grabbed a framed picture of her and her brother and father, and the snowglobe of New York City that her father had given her when he left. Then she ran out the door. To find Chandler. So that he could save her, make her feel safe. Make her feel beautiful and not simply used. 

  
  


_Tap on my window knock on my door  
I want to make you feel beautiful  
I know I tend to get insecure  
It doesn't matter anymore_  


_Present:_

Monica had never figured out how Ron knew that she had gone to Chandler's. She knew that it had to have been Ross, but somehow didn't want to believe that he would betray her like that. But it had to be him. There was no other way that Ron could have known. The memories were coming back now. It was as if seeing Chandler had opened a floodgate that refused to be shut now. She remembered coming to his room soaking wet. She remembered him pulling her close. And she remembered how the whole story had spilled out. 

_Ten Years Before:_

"What happened?" She knew that he would ask, but she didn't want to tell him. This question caused a whole new slew of tears. 

"Seriously Monica," Chandler was holding her now, and getting scared. She wasn't talking, just sobbing uncontrollably. "What happened?"

"Ron...he....raped..." Saying the word just sent her into convulsions. Saying the word sent Chandler into a rage. 

"He touched you? I'm going to kill him," Chandler kept repeating this over and over again. And Monica became even more terrified.

"Please, please don't do anything....I don't.....not for me....." 

"I would do anything for you," he told her lifting her chin up so that she looked straight into his eyes. "Anything." He didn't say anything else, he simply held her in his arms until she had stopped quivering. 

"Hey, you okay?" He asked a little later after they had been lying there for quite some time. He had fallen asleep and only woke up when he heard her sobbing into her pillow. 

"Fine," it was an automatic response. 

"Are you?"

"I'm fine Chandler. I'm going to be okay." So he stopped pushing. She said that she would be okay, and that was easier to take than her world was falling apart around her. So he chose the easy route. And they had fallen back into restless sleeps. 

The second time they were awoken was from a pounding on the door. 

"Monica!" It was Ron. Monica clung to Chandler, horrified. 

"How did he find me?" She asked. Chandler shrugged. 

"We won't let him in," he assured her. But that was a promise that he wasn't able to keep when the door flew open. Ron came flying over to the bed and grabbed Monica by her arm and pulled her up. She winced in pain as his fingers dug into her skin.

"Come on," he told her pulling her towards the door.

"No!" Later, both Monica and Chandler were at a loss as to who actually said those words. But Monica reached her hand out for Chandler to take.

"I'm not going with you," she said to Ron summoning all her courage. Slapping her hard across the face, Ron hissed.

"Slut." That was it, Chandler wasn't about to allow Ron to treat her like that. Wasn't going to let him take her. 

"Let her go," Chandler said standing up straight and still coming about three inches short of Ron. He gently took Monica's hand."She's staying here with me." Ron simply tightened his grip, causing Monica to cry out in pain. Chandler let go of her hand and stepped in between Ron and Monica. Ron let go of Monica briefly and she moved away and slipped down to the floor covering her head with her hands and rocking back and forth. Chandler, who had never been an extremely violent man, wanted nothing more than to kill this man standing in front of him. He settled for simply punching him. 

As blood poured out of Ron's nose, he turned to Monica who was still huddled on the floor. 

"Don't come home. You aren't welcome," he told her and then turned and slammed the door behind him. Monica didn't move, she just sat and sobbed into her hands. Chandler came over to where she was, and gently placed a hand on her back. She flinched, but then threw herself into his arms. 

"What do I do now?" She sobbed. "What do I do?" 

"It's okay," he told her again and again as she kept repeating her question. "I'm here. Nothing's going to hurt you again. I'm here. It's okay. I'm here." 

  


_It's not always rainbows and butterflies  
It's compromise that moves us along  
My heart is full and my door's always open  
You can come anytime you want_  


~* So I lied, the last part of the song will be in the third chapter....that is if everyone is still interested in the story, so let me know. Leave a review. Thanks! ~*


	3. The girl with the broken smile

~Okay kids, here's the next chapter. Please leave me a nice review! Please? Don't make me beg. 

  


Disclaimer: Own them? Not so much....but I like to play with them from time to time. 

  


Monica started through the phonebook calling every hotel trying to find Chandler. There were so many things that she still needed to explain to him. He couldn't have just left. No, she would find him. Even if it meant calling up her brother and asking if he had any idea where she could find him. 

But first, before she would resort to that, she tried the phonebook. 

"There's no listing for Chandler Bing?" She asked sighing. She was nearing the end of the alphabet with no luck yet. 

"Sorry ma'am." 

"Shit," she announced as she slammed down the phone. Just as her fingers dialed the next number, there was a knock on the door. Sighing again, she hoisted herself off of the chair and made her way to the door. Shocked to see who was on the other side, she covered her mouth and gasped. 

"Chandler?" 

"Mon. I ran, I'm sorry. I came here for a reason," he told her. She was so trilled that she threw her arms around his neck. Startled, it took a minute before wrapping his arms around her as well. 

"You're wet," she noted.

"I am. It's raining." Looking past him out the open door, she smiled a little. 

"So it is."

"I didn't leave."

"I see that. We need to talk."

"Do we?"

"We do." Moving aside, she let him into the house. 

"Your husband might not like this," he pointed out as she took his coat and led him into the kitchen for a cup of coffee.

"My husband is dead Chandler," she told him. Dead? Her husband was dead? She was widowed? 

"Oh God, Monica...I'm sorry." And he was. She had gone through so much in her life. She didn't deserve to have any more pain. He would have done anything to shield her from more pain. He had failed that night ten years before, and he had failed again. 

"It's okay. It's been two years now."

"How did he die?"

"Car accident. He was a doctor, and he was running late for work, so he was rushing, never saw the other car coming. Funny, huh? He made it to the hospital on time. Ironic." She paused for a moment and looked him in the eye. "I hate irony." Chandler took a seat at the table as Monica poured two cups of coffee.

"What was his name?" Chandler couldn't help but be somewhat interested in this man that Monica had been married to. For how long? What was his name? Did they...oh God, did they have any kids?

"Matthew. Matt. Matt Bailey." 

"How long were you married for?"

"Five years." So she must have met him right after her and Chandler had stopped talking. Chandler did the math in his head. He hadn't seen Monica in eight years, and they had been married for five years, and he had been dead two. 

Monica gave a small, sad smile. 

"He was a great guy." 

"I'm sure he was." What was Chandler doing here? She had her life. She had her life and he was simply intruding. But he couldn't make himself leave. Just as he had to come back there that day. There was something about her. 

Just something about her. 

  
  
  


_I don't mind spending everyday  
Out on your corner in the pouring rain  
Look for the girl with the broken smile  
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile  
And she will be loved  
She will be loved_  


  
  


They both sat with their hands wrapped around their cups of coffee. They had been talking for an hour. About Chandler's life, about how Monica and her father were close now, but she hadn't talked to Ross or her mother, who was still married to that asshole Ron, in years. They had even laughed. She had not thought it possible, but they had even laughed. 

"Hello? Mommy! Mommy guess what?" A voice called out from the front hall and a little girl, about seven, if Chandler were to take a guess, came hurtling into the kitchen. She had to be Monica's daughter. There was no way that she wasn't. Monica had a daughter? An hour. They had been talking for an hour and she didn't mention that she had kids? 

"Hey baby," Monica said. The little girl noticed that there was someone else with her mother and suddenly became shy. "Sadie, honey, this is Chandler. He's an old friend of mine. Chandler, this is my daughter Sadie." Sadie. Chandler had always loved the name Sadie. 

"Hello Sadie."

"Hi Chandler," she said burying her face into her mother's shoulders. Sadie leaned forward and whispered something into Monica's ear. 

"Sure honey, go ahead," giving Chandler one more shy look, Sadie skipped away happily. "She's going to go to her friend's house." Standing up, Monica too Chandler's empty cup of coffee. "More?"

"No thanks." His head was still reeling. She had a daughter. She was widowed and she had a daughter. "How old is she?" 

"She's seven, almost eight," Monica replied looking in the direction that Sadie had run off to. "She's amazing."

"I'm sure she is." Almost eight? That meant that Monica must have gotten pregnant right away. Or was pregnant when she got married. 

"You always wanted kids," Chandler said. "I guess you got what you wanted right away, huh?"

"Chandler, I was pregnant when I got married." He had guessed as much. 

"Oh."

"I was pregnant when I met Matt." Now, that he hadn't expected. Then, was....he....was Sadie....

"Is she....."

"Yours? Yeah, she is." 

  
  
  


_I know where you hide  
Alone in your car  
Know all of the things that make you who you are  
I know that goodbye means nothing at all  
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls_

  
  


~Okay, yeah, I'm evil, and I'm going to leave it there. And there is will stay until I get reviews. Like...10 of them....I mean it people, I'm not joking this time!!!! Please????? ~

  
  
  



	4. Ask her if she wants to stay awhile

~Thanks for reviewing, could you possible do it again? Consider it a Halloween present for me. Thanks!~

  


Disclaimer: Does anyone know a house that I can trick or treat at where they hand out Friends characters? No? Okay, didn't think so. Not mine. Not even a little bit mine.

  
  


"She's...she's mine?" His voice came out tight and high. He had a daughter? He had a daughter with Monica? What were the odds? Monica avoided his eyes, but nodded. "Does she...did she call....Matt, Dad?"

"She did. He was the only father that she had ever known. Bu she knew that he wasn't her real father...I mean in the biological sense. Matt...Matt was a great guy Chandler. He really was." Chandler nodded, not looking at her. Despite the fact that he knew that Matt was dead and therefore no real threat, he still couldn't help the jealous feelings the surged inside of him. This was the man who was married to the woman that he loved, and who raised his daughter. His daughter. Sadie was his. He couldn't get over that. Sadie was his. 

"What's her last name?" Somehow this is what he kept coming back to. Was she Sadie Bailey? 

"Sadie Elisabeth Bing." Monica had given her his name?

"Not Bailey?" He choked out. 

"She's your daughter."

"You never told me....why didn't you tell me?"

"I....I didn't know how...oh, Chandler, I know that we haven't spoken in years, but by the way I had your daughter. Not exactly the best way to tell you." She was staring out the window. 

"And...she's amazing?"

"Incredible," Monica replied finally looking at him. "Would you like to meet her?"

"I met her," he pointed out.

"I know, but you didn't meet her meet her."

"Good point," he was suddenly very nervous. What if she hated him? "I guess I would like to meet her....will she....will..."

"She like you? Yeah, she'll like you."

"Does she know about me at all?"

"Just that I had you before I met Matt, and that her father would have been here if he could, but that Matt and I loved her more than anything." Chandler nodded again, that was all that he seemed to be able to do. Nod. He would have been there if he had known. He might not have been the most mature, but Sadie was his daughter. He would have been there for his daughter. 

"When....when is she going to be home?"

"Later."

"Later?"

"In about an hour or so." 

"Oh."

"We can have dinner and she can get used to you."

"Okay." He paused. "When's her birthday?"

"October 14th," Monica replied. 

"Her favorite color?"

"Pink," Monica raised an eyebrow at this, and Chandler just gave a small smile.

"I want to know what she likes, what she doesn't like. I want to know everything. I want to make a good impression on her." For the first time since Monica had dropped this bombshell on Chandler, she smiled. 

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"All right, ready? We're going to cram before Sadie gets back."

"All right." 

  


By the end of the hour Chandler knew everything that he needed to know. Sadie's favorite stuffed animal was a bear named Elmer that Matt had given her when she was born. Chandler found that he was actually glad that Monica had someone there to hold her hand when Sadie was born, and that he wasn't at all jealous that Matt had been there. Okay, he was a little jealous, but he would get over it. He knew that Sadie's nickname was Little Lady, and that she was called that by her mother and her grandfather who adored her and whom she called Poppy. He knew that Monica sang the same song to her every night, and it was "Baby Mine" from _Dumbo. _Chandler had made a mental note to learn the words to that song. 

He felt that he was prepared for Sadie's arrival.

He was completely wrong. 

"Mommy! I'm home, Kelly's mom dropped me off," Sadie came hurtling back into the kitchen. Monica had warned him that she constantly had tons of extra energy and that she insisted on running everywhere, which conflicted when they were in a crowded area and Monica insisted on holding her hand. 

"Dinner's almost ready, can you go wash your hands?"

"Sure, Mommy, and I...." She noticed Chandler again who was standing nervously by the kitchen table with his hands shoved in his pockets. "Hi."

"Hi," he answered. Sadie smiled at him. Her bright blue eyes glittered as she pushed a piece of hair that had fallen from it's braided pigtail back off her eye.

"Chandler, right?"

"That's right," Monica answered her daughter. "Chandler's going to be eating dinner with us tonight."

"Really?" Sadie looked from her mother to Chandler and then back again. "Okay." She skipped off in the direction of the bathroom and Chandler gave a sigh.

"She's going to love you," Monica assured him again. "Don't worry about a thing."

But he worried. The three of them sat down at the table and listened as Sadie chattered about her afternoon. He kept smiling at Monica and she smiled back.

"Do you live here Chandler?" Sadie asked taking a bite of her chicken.

"No."

"Where do you live?"

"New York."

"That's where Mommy grew up," Sadie repeated smiling at both her parents. "Did you know Mommy from there?"

"Yes I did." Sadie's eyes widened as a revelation hit her. 

"Did you know my real dad?" Both Chandler and Monica looked at one another in horror. 

"Um..." Chandler stuttered and glanced at Monica panicked.

"Well, sweetie," Monica stepped in and Chandler wondered how she was so calm. Was this what happened after years of being a parent? Would he get like this? "That's what we need to talk to you about. You see...Chandler...well, he's your....he's your father." There. It was said. Monica had said it. After her and Chandler had planned exactly what they would say and how they would say it, Monica just came right out and said it. Sadie's eyes got very large as she looked from her mother to this man sitting there. 

"Really?" Sadie's voice was breathless, and Monica nodded. 

"Yes. Really." Sadie squealed and threw herself into Chandler's arms. 

"I dreamed that you would come. I dreamed that you loved me and would come find me one day." And Chandler was so happy, so thrilled that Sadie, his daughter, was so happy that he was there, that he didn't notice the tears that slipped down Monica's face. 

  
  


"She's incredible," Chandler repeated for what might have been the hundredth time that night. He had put Sadie to sleep after they had stayed in the living room talking all night. Leaving Monica alone to clean up dinner, leaving Monica generally alone. 

"Yes," Monica said agreeing with him. "Yes, she is incredible."

"Mon?"

"Hmm?"

"Will you please tell me what happened?"

"What are you talking about?"

"When you left. What happened exactly when you left."

"You know what happened. I moved in with my dad until college and then I moved to Chicago and went to California for holidays and breaks to be with my dad, and then we stopped talking."

"Why did we stop talking?" She became very silent trying to pinpoint the exact reason. She came up with no reason at all.

"I'm not sure."

"Neither am I," he said softly.

"There had to be a reason, a good reason," she said searching her memory.

"There wasn't."

"What?"

"A good reason. There wasn't any. We were young and scared and so we split. But what happened after that? What happened with Sadie? When did you meet Matt?"

"You really want to know?"

"I want to know everything."

"Even about Matt?"

"I want to know everything," he repeated. 

She wasn't sure how long they sat there. Talking about Matt, talking about Sadie, and what had happened when they had stopped talking. But she knew that by the end, her voice was raw and both of their cheeks were flushed and wet with tears. 

  
  


_8 years before:_

Monica couldn't believe it. She was pregnant? She knew that she hadn't been feeling well, and that she had been throwing up and getting tired so easily. But pregnant? She was only 20, she wasn't even done with school yet. How could she be pregnant? Not possible. And with Chandler ,it was Chandler's, she knew that for sure. 

What would he say? 

How would he react? 

What if she just simply didn't tell him? 

Feeling trapped in her small one-bedroom apartment, she decided that she needed to go for a walk. She ran from the building and found a park nearby. She walked through contemplating and thinking about what would happen now, and what she could do. 

She couldn't tell Chandler. He wasn't ready for it yet. Hell, she wasn't ready for it yet. And this revelation just brought about a whole new slew of tears. Tears that rolled down her face and into her hands. 

"Are you okay?" She heard a voice gently ask.

"Yes, I'm fine." No. She wasn't okay. Of course she wasn't. She was sitting on a bench sobbing. Did it look like she was okay?

"Are you sure?" Didn't this guy give up at all? She lifted her head and her eyes caught his. Well, for being so persistent, he sure was cute. 

"I'm....I'm going to be fine."

"Are you sure?" He asked again taking a seat next to her on the bench and digging out of his pocket a handkerchief. "Here."

"Thanks," Monica said taking it from him. "I should be. I don't....I don't know."

"Why don't I buy you a coffee and you can tell me what's wrong?" He offered. She shook her head. 

"You really don't have to do that."

"I want to."

"Really?"

"Yes." He might want to now, but he certainly would never want to see her again when he found out that she was pregnant. 

"There's something you should know," she said taking a deep breath. He would be the first person that she told. She didn't even know him. Maybe that was why he was the perfect candidate to tell. She still had to face her father, and....no, she wasn't bringing Chandler into the whole thing. He had done enough. "You don't want to buy me coffee, or dinner, or anything else. I'm pregnant." If he was revolted by this, or terrified, his face didn't show it. 

"Is that why you're crying?"

"Yes," Monica began to sob again.

"And the father?"

"We broke up. He's in New York." The man looked deep in concentration.

"Then you're right, I can't have coffee with you." She knew it. Hurt, she nodded and began to sob into his handkerchief again. "Wait," he placed a hand on her leg. "Because you can't have coffee. But hey, if you want to grab a burger, I know a great place."

"Really?" She looked up at him. 

"Really. What's your name?" He asked standing up and helping her to her feet.

"Monica." 

"Monica. I'm Matt." 

  
  


~Okay, thanks for reviewing! Please do it again! The next chapter will be more of her flashback to what happened, so if you want to know more of what happened, you best just leave a little review.....please? Thanks!~

  



	5. She always belonged to someone else

~ Okay, thanks for reviewing. Could you do it again? Maybe, possibly? I'll give you a cookie? So, okay, I don't so much have the means to get you a cookie, or right, I don't have cookies to begin with....but I could think of something. Just please review? Please? All right, I've done enough begging. On with the story:

Disclaimer: Damn. They aren't mine. 

Over the next couple months, Matt was always there for her. He helped her pick out the furniture for the nursery, and talk to her father, who had amazingly taken it much better than Monica had thought originally. 

"I'm going to be a grandfather?"

"Yes you are." Monica braced herself for the reaction that she was sure was to follow. A reaction that was forced upon her from many years of living with her mother and Ron. 

"My first grandchild?"

"Yes?"

"And you said that it's going to be a little girl?"

"Yes, it's a girl."

"Really? That's....that's amazing, Monica. I'm going to be a grandfather. She can call me Poppy." Which she did, eventually. But Matt had been there for that possibly hard conversation with her father. Matt was there for everything. When most men his age would have run away from Monica as fast as they could, Matt stuck around. Matt helped paint the new apartment that her father had bought for her. Matt had taken her to lamaze classes. And Matt had proposed. 

He had taken her to her favorite restaurant, and they had ordered sparkling grape juice and were drinking and laughing when Matt, being spontaneous as always, stopped abruptly and took her hand.

"Marry me." 

"What?" Monica laughed it away, but Matt could not be swayed.

"Marry me. Be my wife. I love you. I love this baby, even though I know she's not mine and I've never met her. But I love her. I love both of you."

"Matt, you don't...."

"I do. I do want to do this. I know that I love you. I know that I've loved you from the first moment that I met you crying on the bench by yourself. And I know that I'll love you forever." And Monica, hating herself for doing it, had a memory of Chandler saying these same things to her, and being terrible, wished that it was still him. But here was this boy. Who was in love with her. Who was amazing, and sweet. 

How could she say no to that? 

How could she turn down his proposal?

She couldn't. And it wasn't even that she didn't love him. She definitely loved him. Maybe it wasn't quite the same as the way that she loved Chandler, but she still loved him. And he would be a fantastic father. And she was terrified that she would never find anyone like Matt if she let him go. So she did the only thing that she knew how to do. She said yes. 

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes. I'll marry you."

"Oh Monica," Matt had whispered taking her into his arms and slipping the ring onto her finger. "Perfect fit."Monica had grinned at him.

"Perfect fit," she repeated leaning forward and giving him a kiss. 

They were married a month later in a tiny ceremony in Hawaii on the beach, with only his parents, who also lived in California like her father, and of course, her own father and some of their mutual friends there. She was barely showing at this point and she wore a stunning white flowing dress with her dark hair swept back into a bun with white flowers tucked among the strands that contrasted perfectly. She had shoes, but they had both opted to go barefoot. Having broken down the week before the wedding, she had called Ross.

"Ross?"

"Monica? How are you? I haven't seen you in years. I haven't heard from you in years. Where have you been?"

"Oh, Ross, I've missed you." It was true. She did miss her brother. She had loved her brother. " I went to live with Dad. But I called to tell you something. I called to tell you that I was getting married, and I'm pregnant."

"Whore!" She hadn't even heard her mother click onto the line. But there she was, screaming into the phone all the things that Monica had run away from. "Dirty whore. Who would marry you? You're nothing but a low, dirty slut." Tears formed in Monica's eyes, and Matt, who had been sitting at the table across from her reading the paper, glanced up and saw the tears and quickly reached over and took her hand and squeezed it.

"I'm sorry Mon," Ross muttered as their mother continued. 

"Whore."

"She's been drinking." Like always, Monica thought. What else is new?

"Slut." 

"Congratulations." 

"Tramp." Monica had hung up slamming the phone down so that she couldn't hear anymore from her mother or brother. Matt had gathered her into his arms as she had wept and stroked her long dark hair. 

"We don't need them. You don't need them. You have me. You have me and I'm not going anywhere. I promise you. I'm not going anywhere."It was the same thing that he had promised her a week later as they were married. 

And it was the same thing that he had promised her when Sadie was born. As she had screamed and yelled in pain, and she had gripped his hand. As he leaned down and kissed her forehead and told her that she was doing great. That she was wonderful and beautiful and the most amazing person that he had ever met. 

"I don't think that I can do this," Monica had sobbed.

"Yes you can, you can do anything," Matt assured her holding her hand tightly. And then they announced that she had a beautiful little girl. A beautiful little girl who was all hers. 

"Oh," Monica breathed. "She's perfect. Isn't she perfect?"

"She sure is," Matt said kissing her forehead staring down at the perfect little baby in Monica's arms. "What should we name her?" 

"I really loved the name Sadie," Monica said running a hand over the baby's head. "But Sadie Bailey? It doesn't sound that great, does it?" 

"But she isn't Sadie Bailey," Matt murmured. "She's Sadie Bing." He knew all about Chandler. Monica had told him everything. Monica gazed up at him with surprise. 

"What?"

"Monica, I love her. I do. I've only just met her and I would die for her. But she isn't mine. I know that. She's his, and she should have his name. It won't make me love her any less, that's not possible. I simply adore her." He gave Monica a kiss on the lips and smiled at her. "Look at her. She's a Sadie. She's a Sadie Bing."

"Sadie Elisabeth," Monica said. "After your mother." Matt grinned broadly at her. 

"I love it. I love you."

"So do I," Monica smiled at him as he slipped his arm around his wife and the new baby. So she wasn't biologically his, he had a feeling he could not love anyone more than he loved Monica and Sadie. He was sure that he couldn't. 

_Present:_

"And I loved him too, Chandler," Monica whispered tears falling down her face. 

"I know you did," he took her hand. "And I'm happy that you had someone like that. I'm happy that you had someone that loved you and Sadie like that."

"And when he died," Monica continued. "I just...I couldn't breathe. I couldn't get out of bed. It hurt. It hurt so much. And I miss him. I still miss him. He was my husband, and I loved him. Maybe not like I loved you, but I loved him. And Sadie loved him. He was so good to her, so good with her. She called him Daddy and she was heartbroken when he died. We all were." Dissolving into tears, Chandler gathered her into his arms and held her close. "I miss him Chandler. I miss him so much."

"I know," Chandler whispered holding her and kissing her forehead. "I know." 

"And," she calmed herself down and looked up into his eyes. "I've missed you." 

~Whoa. So I just came back from class, and I had fallen asleep (very nice nap by the way) and I had a dream about the characters from "Friends", they were doing Grease.....whoa. Anyway, please review and tell me if you still enjoy it and want me to keep going or what? So okay, just press that little, pretty button right there. Thanks!~


	6. She will be loved

~Okay, sorry this took so long. Busy week. And it's super cold outside, I would just like you all to know. So I'm being lazy, and considering skipping class (no....I should go....but I really don't want to), and I had a little time to finish this chapter. The song is by Tracy Chapman. I hope that you enjoy it. And I hope that you review....because that would make me super happy. Thanks!

  
  


Disclaimer: I own them.....hahaha, that's really funny seeing as I have like $0.72 to my name. Of course they aren't mine! 

  
  
  


She missed him. He tried not to get his hopes up too much by the last statement. But she missed him? She missed him!

"You....uh...did?" He couldn't form complete sentences, that task was beyond him. Because she missed him. 

"Yeah, I did. I missed you a lot. I thought I was this terrible person for being married and missing my former boyfriend, but the thing was Chandler, that neither of us really wanted to split up, it just sort of happened." That was true. They hadn't mean to stop talking to one another, they just stopped talking one day. And neither could pinpoint exactly when it was. It was bound to happen, they had both known it was coming, but they hadn't been able to do anything about it. 

"So....um, what does that mean?" Chandler struggled to make his voice even. Not to let his voice break and have some hope creep in. But it had, and she had heard it. 

"I don't know," she frowned. 

"Well, I'd like to get to know Sadie," Chandler said. It was easiest to start with Sadie, of course he would want to stick around, he wanted to get to know his daughter. That was obvious. And if that led to something with Monica....then that would just be an added bonus, right? 

Oh, who was he kidding, he wanted nothing more to take her into his arms and never let her go. 

"Of course. I want you to get to know Sadie. I want Sadie to get to know you," Monica added. 

"So I could try to transfer here?"

"Really?"

"Would that be okay?" He asked. Monica nodded. 

"That would be great." They sat in silence again. Each holding onto a mug of coffee and neither one wanting to be the first one to breach the subject of the two of them possibly dating once more. 

"Okay."

"Okay." Again there was silence.

"So we aren't going to talk about what we aren't talking about?" Monica finally spoke up.

"I didn't think that you wanted to." 

"Well....yeah, I do."

"Oh, okay. Then we can talk about it. Let's talk about it." More silence. 

"I loved you," Monica admitted. "I was devastated when I had to leave you." 

"You know you didn't have to leave. You could have gone to school in New York." 

"And be near Ron and my mother? No. You knew it, and I knew it, I couldn't stay there." He knew it, of course, but that still hadn't stopped him from hating her when she left. Hating that she needed to leave, hating Ross and her mother for making her run away. He knew that she was running from them, but there was still that insecure part of himself that asked if she was really running away from him too. 

"I love you, too," he finally spoke up. "I've loved you forever." Monica noticed that while she had used the past tense, he had used present. He loved her. Right then and there. And she did too, she loved him. 

"That doesn't fix everything, and that doesn't change the fact that we've been apart for eight years," she pointed out. 

"No, it doesn't," he agreed. "But it's a start." 

It was a start. And she silently reached across the table and took his hand. He didn't ask for more, he just held her hand. She needed time. He understood that. She had her heart broken so many times before. By her mother, by Chandler, by Matt. If she needed to take things slowly, he would understand that. He wouldn't rush her into anything. Because he needed her. And he would take her any way that he could. 

  
  


_When all my hopes and dreams_

_have been betrayed_

_I stand before you_

_My hands are empty_

_I am yours, if you are mine_

_I am yours, if you are mine_

  
  
  
  


Chandler was asleep on the couch when he felt a tug at his sleeve.

"Daddy?" That word. That word that he had never heard before. That word that was the most beautiful word that he had ever heard. Opening one eye, he peered up and saw Sadie standing there. 

"Hey, morning beautiful," he said as he sat up. She giggled.

"Mommy wanted to know if you wanted breakfast? She's making it right now."

"Sure," he nodded. "That would be great." Sadie grinned and wrapped her arms around his neck. 

"I'm glad that you came," she whispered. Chandler ran a hand over her dark hair and closed his eyes. 

"So am I." Sadie unwrapped her arms and grinned at him. She ran back into the kitchen and Chandler rubbed his eyes. Standing up, he followed his daughter and found Monica flipping pancakes. Sadie was chattering away beside her and helping her put chocolate chips into the batter. He didn't say anything, just stood there and watched. 

"And then what do we do Mommy?" Sadie asked practically jumping. 

"We have to pour the batter into the pan," Monica explained.

"Can I help?" Sadie asked. 

"If you're careful," Monica said and she pulled a stool over from the island and helped Sadie onto it. Very carefully, Monica and Sadie poured the batter into the pan.

"Can we make just one really big one?" Sadie asked.

"Who will eat it?" Monica asked laughing. "Cause I know that you won't."

"Daddy will!" Sadie replied and Chandler watched Monica's face to find some sort of expression. Something that he couldn't quite place a finger on flashed over her face and then it went back to being impassive. 

"Okay, we can make a big pancake," Monica replied finally and Sadie cheered. Chandler cleared his throat making his presence known. Both girls turned around to acknowledge him. 

"What are you guys making?"

"Chocolate chip pancakes," Sadie answered. "Mommy makes the best. She even makes them into shapes."

"Does she?" Chandler asked. Sadie nodded happily. 

"Why don't you go set the table sweet girl?" Monica suggested, and Sadie nodded and hopped off the stool and ran to the breakfast corner and began to place the plates that Monica had already set there in their proper place. Chandler came over to where she was standing.

"Is it okay that I stay for breakfast?" He asked wanting to make sure that he wasn't overstepping any boundaries.

"It's fine," she assured him. "It's ready. Why don't you go sit with Sadie?" He nodded and sat down next to his little girl who was telling him about her best friend Lauren. 

"She's sometimes not nice to me," she told him. "But it's okay, cause you know what I told her? I told her that she was adopted, and she began to cry! So she's not mean anymore." 

"Sadie!" Monica chastised. But Chandler just tried hard to suppress his laughter. His daughter was amazing. His daughter was funny. She was her mother. 

"You know what?" Sadie spoke up again.

"Hmm?" Monica finished cutting up Sadie's pancakes.

"It's like we're a family, a true family," she said. 

"Excuse me," Monica said and then ran from the room and locked the door behind her and began to sob. 

  
  
  
  
  


_I fall and stumble_

_flat on my face_

_I'm shamed and humble in disgrace_

_I am yours, if you are mine _

_I am yours, if you are mine _

  
  
  


Chandler stood up and told Sadie to keep eating her breakfast and went after Monica. 

"Mon?" He knocked on the door. "Please open it up." Finally he heard the lock click open and the door opened and she stood there her hair disheveled.__

"I don't know what to do," she admitted. "Because I love you."

"But..." There was a but, there was always a but.

"I feel like I'm letting Matt down somehow. I don't want to say that I wish that you had always been around because then I would have never met Matt, and I don't want to say that it's a good thing that I didn't tell you about Sadie, because she's your daughter and look how much you missed out on! I don't know how to feel. I don't know which I should be happy about. What should I feel guilty about? I feel so confused." Chandler gathered her in his arms and held her there.

"You don't have to choose which one," he told her. "What happened happened. And it was supposed to happen that way. And it's okay, because I can get to know her now. And you and I....we needed to grow up. We needed that time apart." Tearfully, Monica nodded and leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him.

  
  
  


_When voices call me to question my faith_

_when misperceptions taints my love with hate_

_I am yours, if you are mine_

_I am yours, if you are mine _

  
  
  


"But what now?" Monica whispered into his ear. 

"Now, we do whatever you want to do," he told her.

"Talk about pressure," she muttered. 

"Do you love me?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to try us again?"

"Yes."

"The decision isn't that hard then, is it?" Chandler grinned at her as she pulled away slightly so that she could see his face. 

"No," she said smiling. "I guess it isn't." She paused and studied his face. 

"What?"

"I still need to take it slow."

"I can live with that."

"Okay."

"But Monica?"

"Yes?"

"Can I kiss you?" Laughing, she nodded. 

"Please." And he leaned in and kissed her, and they ignored the giggles that came from the little girl who watched this all very happily. 

  
  
  


_When time decides, _

_it won't stop for me_

_When the hawks and vultures are circling_

_I am yours, if you are mine_

_I am yours, if you are mine _

  
  


~Please, please review. I think that this may be the last chapter. Tell me what you think.~


	7. Her cup runneth over

~Here is the last part. I hope that you enjoy it, and could you please leave me a little review? That would be sooo great! Thanks!

  


Disclaimer: For the very last time, they aren't mine! 

  
  


"Sadie, could you please stand still?" Monica hissed down at her nine-year-old. The little girl sighed and stood still for about a minute, and then began to shift back and forth again. This time her father placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Please princess?" He whispered. "Mommy just wants everything to go right." Sadie sighed again and looked up at her mother and the bundle that she held in her arms.

"Are they going to dunk Katy in that water?" She asked wide-eyed. Her father finally just clamped a hand over her mouth as Monica handed her newborn off to her best friend Rachel who was going to be Katy's godmother. Sadie watched as they poured the water over her baby sister's head and Katy, or Kathryn, screamed bloody murder.

"It's okay, baby," Monica whispered rocking the baby slightly to calm her down. Chandler removed his hand from Sadie's mouth and she promptly began to talk again.

"I would scream too," she announced. This caused her mother to shoot her one more warning glare before returning her attention to her infant daughter.

  


Standing in the back, deep in shadows, where no one could see him was Ross. He watched his sister and her daughters. His nieces. And his brother-in-law. Chandler. Somehow he had always known that they would end up together. Even when she married someone else the first time, Ross had felt that they would end up together in the end. 

Now here they were. Married with two beautiful little girls. Sadie looked just like her mother. He didn't dare come back out. Chandler had called on the morning of their wedding to tell him that they were getting married, and had also called when Katy had been born. He was determined for Ross to know what was going on. 

Ross had no news of his own. No wife. No new baby. Ron was dead. That was the only thing that he could offer up. 

Heart attack. He had confessed to their mother as he lay dying all the things that he had done to Monica. All the pain that he had put her through.

Their mother committed suicide a month later. Swallowed a bottle of pills. She had left a letter with Ross to give to Monica should he ever see her again.

He was terrified to see her again. After all, he had not exactly supported her. He loved her, always had, she was his baby sister, but the way that he treated her had been terrible. 

The christening was over. Monica held Katy tightly and Chandler held Sadie's hand as they made their way out of the church. He slipped further back into the shadows hoping that no one would see him. But he was caught. Chandler caught his eye, and didn't say anything but just placed a hand on his wife's back as they left the church.

"Oh, Mon," he said once they were outside. "I forgot something. I'll be right back out." 

"Okay," she said as she strapped Katy into the car seat and helped Sadie get settled. Chandler ran back in and found Ross still standing in the same place.

"Hey," Ross said softly. "The girls....are beautiful."

"Thanks," Chandler smiled and twisted his wedding ring around his finger. "Come with us."

"No," he shook his head. "Monica wouldn't like that."

"Really? Why not?"

"Because. Just because. Just give her this, okay? Just give her this and tell her that it's from our mother. And to read it."

"She might not want to," Chandler pointed out.

"Mom's dead. Just....just tell her to read it," Ross said.

"Come on Ross. Come to the house. Monica wants to see you I know that she does."

"Not today," Ross shook his head. "There's going to be people there. Not today."

"Then tomorrow?" Chandler asked hopefully. Ross shrugged.

"I only think about today," he told Chandler. 

"Ross."

"Chandler. I'll think about it, okay? Just give Monica the letter." Chandler nodded and slipped it into his jacket pocket and then left Ross alone again in the shadows. 

  
  


"Mon?" Everyone had gone home. It was just the Bings and Rachel. And Rachel was upstairs reading Sadie a book. Monica was finishing cleaning up the remains of the party.

"Yes?" She turned around. Chandler was leaning against the counter and he came over to her and placed a hand on her arm.

"Ross was there today," he told her. She gasped slightly.

"He was?"

"Standing in the back of the church. I saw him on the way out," he explained. 

"And you didn't tell me!"

"He didn't want to see you. He said maybe tomorrow. But he gave me this." He handed her the envelope. 

"What is it?" She asked taking it gingerly.

"A letter from your mother."

"I don't want it," Monica said automatically. 

"She's dead, Mon," he said softly pulling her in for a hug. "I think you need to read it. Ross told me to tell you to just read it." She's dead. The words rang in Monica's head. She's dead. Nodding lightly, she grasped the envelope in her hands and pulled away from her husband.

"I think I need to read this on my own," she told him. And he understood. Walking away, she went up into their bedroom. With trembling hands, she pulled out the letter and unfolded it. 

Her mother's scrawling handwriting that she would recognize anywhere stared back at her. Taking a deep breath, she began to read.

_My dearest Monica~ _

_ I'm so sorry. I don't know what else to say but I'm sorry. I don't expect you to ever forgive me, but I wanted to tell you that. I wanted to get that off my chest. I didn't know. I didn't want to know. Let's face it, I was not all with it anyway. The truth hurts, honey, and the truth is killing me. I was a drunk who let my husband sexually and physically abuse my daughter. My only daughter. My baby. I blamed you for leaving, for running away from me, mostly because I was jealous. I couldn't run away. I was stuck there. With Ron, with the demons that haunted me. I wanted to go numb every night, and I did. I'm sorry that you were hurt in the process. I cried every night after you left. I think I knew, I think I knew a little bit, but wouldn't admit it to myself. It was simply easier to hate you then to admit that I loved you more than life itself and I had failed you. I failed you, sweet girl. I'll never forgive myself for that. I can't forgive myself for a lot of things, but you are the biggest regret. Making you feel worthless was the most terrible thing that I have ever done. You are not worthless. You are amazing. You are beautiful and sweet. Ross kept me updated as Chandler ( a wonderful guy, I'm so glad that you found someone who treats you like you should be treated) kept him updated. I'm sorry that I'll never meet my granddaughter. Ross said that her name is Sadie, and that she's nine. And you are pregnant again. Seven months, he said? I bet you would have had the baby by the time that you get this. If you get this. Guilt is a terrible thing, baby, and I can't stand it anymore. I've loved you forever, and I continue to love you. The only thing that I have done right in this world is you, and I can't even take credit for you. You raised yourself. You made yourself who you are. I love you. And I love my grandchildren, who I bet are amazing, because they are yours. I'm sorry. _

_ Love you always, Mom. _

Chandler found his wife a few minutes later, crying so hard that it was hard for her to breathe. 

"Honey?" He asked gently.

"Oh Chandler," she sobbed. "I hate her still. After what she did, I'll hate her for that forever. But....but..."

"You don't hate her Mon," he said gathering her into his arms. "You're angry at her. And you'll be angry at that forever. And you should be. You didn't deserve what she did. But you don't have to hate her. Hate takes up way too much energy. Just let it go, baby, just let it go." He didn't ask to read the letter, he knew that if she wanted him to then she would give it to him to read.

"She killed herself?" She asked looking up at him.

"Yeah. She did. Ross said that she swallowed a bottle of pills." Nodding, numbly, Monica just held onto Chandler tightly. 

"She said that she was sorry and that guilt is a terrible thing."

"It is. Guilt made her the way that she was. She knew that it was wrong, so she drank to not feel guilty, and that just made things worse. It's a vicious cycle." 

"I don't hate her," Monica finally admitted. "She's my mother. All I ever wanted from her was for her to stand up for me." Chandler nodded holding her in his arms. "She never did. She never stood up for me." 

"Maybe that was the thing that she felt most guilty about," he whispered. 

"I think so," Monica replied. At that moment, the door opened and Sadie came in. 

"Mommy?" She asked. "Why are you crying?"

"Sadie!" Rachel came running in behind her. "I'm sorry. I was trying to give you guys time."

"It's okay," Monica answered as Sadie scrambled up onto the bed. Chandler let Monica go and Sadie threw her arms around her mother's neck. Not sure exactly why she was crying, but wanting more than anything for her to stop. Monica held her daughter. No, she wouldn't hate her mother. Everything would have been different if Monica had stayed. She wouldn't have Sadie, or Chandler, or Katy. Something good came out of the bad. 

"You okay now?" Chandler asked. Monica nodded.

No, she would have found Chandler. They were meant to bed. Completely. 

  
  
  


"Is he here?" Monica asked. Chandler nodded. "Oh God." Chandler glanced out the window again and heard the baby crying.

"I'll get her," he offered and bounded up the stairs.

"Chandler! No! Chandler! You need to answer the door! CHANDLER!" The doorbell rang and Sadie looked up from where she had been reading a book and hopped off the stool.

"I'll get it Mom," she said and she ran to the front door and pulled it open.

"Hello," the man before her said. "You must be Sadie." She nodded and bit her lip.

"You must be my Uncle Ross," she decided. Ross smiled. 

"Yes I am."

"Mom and Daddy are inside," she told him and he stepped inside the large front hall. Monica appeared in the kitchen doorway and didn't say anything.

"Monica." 

"Ross," she whispered and finally ran to him and threw her arms around his neck. Then she smacked his arm. "Why didn't you come sooner?" He smiled a little.

"I had this crazy idea that you would hate me," he told her.

"No," she said seriously. "I don't hate you." And he smiled again and hugged her to him. Chandler came down the stairs with Katy in his arms and handed her to Monica so that he could give Ross a hug.

"Come on, I made dinner," Monica said as they made their way into the kitchen.

"So what was my mom like when she was little?" Sadie asked leaning forward to collect all the dirt that she could on her mother.

"She was much like she is now," Ross replied. "Amazing.....and terrible at jokes." Monica hit him. 

"This is nice," she whispered to Chandler when Ross and Sadie were involved in a conversation.

"Yeah," he agreed kissing her head. "It is." 

"What more do I need?"

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Well, I have a great husband, two beautiful daughters, and my brother is here, having dinner with us." 

"Yes. Everything's pretty much perfect," Chandler nodded.

"And most of all?"

"What?"

"I'm loved," she looked at him and smiled. More than anything when she was little she had wanted her mother to tell her that she loved her. Wanted her mother to love her. Just simply love her. She wanted to be loved. And she was. An overabundance of love. Her cup runneth over.

"Yes, you are loved," Chandler said smiling as he picked up her hand and kissed it. 

  


~That's it kids! I hoped that you liked it. Could you please leave me a review to tell me how you liked it? Thanks! I'm off to find a $1.50 movie theater that apparently exists. We will find it. We are cheap and broke enough that we will work hard to find this cheap movie theater!~

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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